i met someone really amazing today

we chatted for hours and laughed about how his shoelaces were tied.

he told me i was beautiful and he liked my style

he looked at my photography and told me i was inspiring

but he was different to anyone else

he then asked to know about me

about me as a person.

he was really incredible

i didn’t give him my number, if he knew what was going on in my life right now he’d run a mile, and if he didn’t i would.

i can no longer go a day without having an anxiety attack. i carry my inhaler  everywhere.

the smell of washing powder makes me sick, along with many other things

i havn’t eaten properly in weeks

my skin is awful, my body constantly aches.

i’m tired all the time, a day doesn’t go past where i dont wish i could sleep forever

i’m having the same nightmares repeated over and over again.

i’ve put on so much extra weight, it’s starting to strain

i’m constantly angry about something

i have to sit back an endure all this pain whilst he carries on with his life without a care in the world.

i’m miserable, i wish this could end.

but i’ve never been so afraid for the end to come